


Fleeting Regrets.

by sonnet_18



Category: Togainu no Chi
Genre: Grief, M/M, Mention of Character Death, Mourning, Nano being out of character, OOC, Philosophical talk, Promises, Regrets, Romance, Wishes, hopes, mention of monsters, post cannon setting, story is not according to cannon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-25 23:18:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19755781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonnet_18/pseuds/sonnet_18
Summary: Short story where Nano comforts Akira during his darkest thoughts. Post cannon setting after the couple flee from Toshima and hid in a church.





	Fleeting Regrets.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing NanoAki, I have a lot to study in writing their characters. Thank you for spending a bit of your time to read this short story.

“I’m such a monster…”

Huddled close to share their body warmth in the dark abandoned church, Nano was confused whether he just imagined the voice or the ghosts once again whispered lies into his ears.

That Akira chose him was a lie.

That the colorful life he discovered was another lie he led himself to believe.

A wishful dream of a lie that Akira would even want to run away from Toshima with him.

To make sure it’s not a dream, every morning Nano woke up to check if Akira was really there by his side.

On some nights where his nightmares didn’t haunt him, he would lay awake and watched Akira sleep. Holding hands together all night to reassure himself Akira’s presence by his side is not a beautiful lie.

“Akira? What did you say?”

Nano inquired, his voice a whisper yet it still echoed lightly in the barren place of a church. It’s an hour before dawn but no visitors will come to this forgotten place of worship. For now it served its purpose to hide the pair of survivors for a moment longer.

It has been several months since they left Toshima and arrived at this foreign island. Along the way the two managed to steal clothes to conceal their appearances with little to no rest in between running from their captors.

Akira may looked pale and lost a bit of weight yet his eyes always burn with determination to not let them be captured by the military. He would rather loose an arm or a leg in a fight as long as Nano could escape from their clutches.

However there are nights where Akira’s roaring fire of strength subsided to a small, flickering flame.

Such as tonight.

Akira was staring at his palm… or to be exact, he was staring at a bloodied tag necklace that used to belong to a man named Keisuke.

“I’m such a monster… I still remember the first time I killed a man… back in Toshima… and then… I killed again… when Keisuke… when he died in my arms…”

Akira sounded like he wanted to scream and cry however not a single trace of tear drop wet his cheeks.

“My hands… sometimes when I wash my face in the morning at the small, dirty sink… I could see it… Keisuke’s blood on my hands… I’m a monster for letting my friend die. I’m a monster for taking another man’s life. It doesn’t matter if it’s self defense or it’s just part of Igra’s rule, I killed people like a monster!”

Nano listened quietly then he moved close to lick Akira’s tears.

If other people saw Nano now, they would be creeped out to see his smile. It was angelic and innocent, nobody would have suspect this ghost-like and skinny, pale man was capable of destroying a troop of soldiers without weapons.

“Humans are foolish to think they are superior than animals. Just because they cloaked themselves with clothes did not mean they are much more intelligent than their fellow primates. The same cycle of war and greed continues as the strong preys the weak. Some humans commit such inhuman atrocities, one tends to wonder which is the beast and which is humane?”

At this Nano reached for Akira’s shivering, cold hand and brought them to his lips. Kissing each digit like he worshipped him. Akira gasped in surprised when Nano didn’t stop there and began licking his fingers and then lightly bite them. Both could feel the pleasant tingle whenever they touch, as a result from their opposing blood.

“Hnn…”

Hearing his beloved’s soft moan aroused Nano but he restrained himself. Now is not the time as he saw Akira’s haggard state. Instead of distracting Akira with bodily pleasure, Nano gently pull him into his embrace as they both lay on the floor. Using his own body as Akira’s cushion.

“W-wait, what are you…”

Nano tucked his chin on Akira’s shoulder, “rest up, Akira. Sleep.”

Hearing Nano’s hypnotic and deep voice near his ear made Akira shiver.

“I cant… it’ll be dangerous if we get ambushed. We must stay alert.”

Nano nuzzled against Akira’s cheek.

“It’ll be okay. I’ll watch over you.”

He swore to his lover. He had always been protecting Akira from afar.

“You haven’t sleep for almost 3 days. Please take this chance to rest a bit.”

Akira wanted to protest but then he felt the warmth of Nano’s chest against his back. His skinny arms wrapped around Akira’s chest like a blanket.

Akira was about to sleep but a soft ray of light hit Akira’s face which made him look up.

Akira saw the faint light of sunrise coming through the colorful glass of the church windows.

“It’s… so pretty.”

“Hmm?” Nano inquired as he kissed Akira’s neck. He wanted to bite and taste Akira.

Akira shivered but continued his words, “I said the ray of light… looks so pretty… it reminds me of the greenhouse where you rescued me that day in Toshima...”

Akira trailed away, he recalled the time he woke up on the couch and saw the ray of light from the glass ceilings. Toshima’s weather was so dreadful, it always either rain or had cloudy skies. The greenhouse, despite its abandoned state, was full of greenery.

It was the day Nano first embraced him and Akira flushed, recalling how he was kissed out of his mind. Nano acted like he wanted to eat him whole and Akira never experienced that from other people before.

“We always have to hide in the dark alleys and run from the military… but I promise you, one day I’ll show you the bright and clear skies.”

Akira promised him with pink cheeks. It was a bit embarrassing to say that. But he really liked it if he could enjoy a sunny day of freedom with Nano. One day when the two of them could walk freely without worrying over their identities, the power of their blood and their past.

Maybe he could even show Nano the pretty Sakura trees too. When Akira first reunited with Nano, he was sleeping against a dead tree. Akira thought his soul mate would look better napping under a big and beautiful, living tree. Under a clear, blue sky. Nano can read as many books as he want under the shade and Akira can accompany him by his side.

Nano smiled, “the sky will always be bright and beautiful for me because you are with me, Akira.”

Compared to when he was imprisoned, subjected to endless experimentation in the lab, Nano thought everyday was heaven for him now that Akira chose to live together.

Akira couldn’t help but smile at his hopeless partner.

“Even though I’m such a monster?” he asked Nano in a joking manner. “With bloody hands and heavy sins?”

Nano hugged him tighter from behind.

“If you are a monster for sullied hands than I am a beast as well.”

Nano brought up one of Akira’s hand to his lips.

“Since I’m such a beast, I don’t care about such human notions on sins and crimes committed. The blood on your hands, if the color bothers you then I shall cleanse them.”

Nano’s tongue darted out and began to lick and kiss Akira’s hand erotically. Lightly he bit the digits before suckling the thumb.

“S-stop...”

Nano turned Akira’s chin so that he could kiss those lips. Silencing his protest as Nano kissed him deeper, causing Akira to moan and squirmed in his arms.

“You are beautiful, Akira. Now please, I beg you, have some sleep. I will protect you as you rest.”

Akira nodded, feeling safe in Nano’s arms. He stiffled a yawn and... shyly kissed his lover back.

“I... love you...”

He whispered Nano’s real name.

Due to Akira’s personality, he rarely say these special words. Akira preferred to show his feelings with actions. So every time he said it to Nano, Nano felt alive and extremely happy.

Nano closed his eyes then kissed Akira’s forehead, “I love you too, my Akira.”

….

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope the story flow was okay.
> 
> I wanted to write Nano cheer up and comfort Akira but instead he became a pillow ^_^;; I fail Orz


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